I’m trying to get back to my weekly blog writings. So far, I am two for two. Yippie! To you that doesn’t sound like a milestone, but for me, it is. My greatest struggle is consistency. I have wonderful ambitions. Yet, I find myself caving into old patterns of behavior when things quickly materialize. When I don’t see the results when I expect to see them, I quickly give up. Full stop. Why put all of this energy into it when things aren’t improving? It reminds me of my gym days… I decided a few years ago that I was going to “beef up” at the gym. Start lifting weights, that’s the plan dude! There was this neat gym, right outside my subdivision. I signed up for a monthly membership and bought workout clothes. That lasted three weeks at most. It’s hard staying motivated when you’re not seeing what you want… That’s been the resounding story of my life. Set a goal? Check. Make steps for the goal? Check. Don’t see instant results? Give up the goal–check. Feel bad about not moving ahead- double check… and the cycle continues, day after day…
It really boils down to the idea of discipline. It is doing the work to achieve the results, even when you’re not seeing the results. I preached a sermon about this recently. In life, you have to do the work to get the results you want without becoming discouraged when you don’t see the results you’re looking for. (I know that was a lot). Encouraging others with this truth is easy. Living the truth for yourself, however, is hard. It is hard to keep the faith. It is hard to stay strong. It is hard to remain committed. It is hard to keep doing the work… and the church world doesn’t make it any better… Church folk are fluent in “Christian-ese.” “Serving the Lord will pay off after while” they are quick to say. But is this really all there is to it? Honestly? If I hold my peace and let the Lord fight my battle, does it truly work out? All the time? Honestly, I’m not convinced…
…because if faith was all that it took— if faith was the magical cure— then our world should be a better place, right? Our country would look like a better place to live, right? Our communities would be safer, right? If all it took was having the right formula or the right amount of faith, then things wouldn’t be so chaotic, right? That’s the way it is preached from pulpits. That’s the way it’s spoken on social media. All of these evils in the world would “disappear” if we had the right fix… We both know that’s laughable.
Being a follower of Jesus means nothing if we don’t partner with the divine. That is the message Jesus desperately tried to get his disciples to understand. No matter how much faith we have, we play a part in manifesting our beliefs. You cannot say you believe without allowing that belief to show up in your behavior. That goes for all of us. In the words of Reverend Dr. Lawrence Carter: “You cannot have what you are not willing to be.” In becoming, we prepare ourselves for receiving.
Maybe that’s the better way of looking at discipline. Instead of worrying about the manifestation of results in our lives, maybe we should appreciate the transformation within us. Perhaps discipline is better seen as the path we follow that transforms us into disciples. After all, they come from the same Latin root meaning “to learn.” It is hard to see how these two can be separated from the other.
Along with pastoring, I am a high school science teacher. During exam week, I decided to show the movie “Transformers” to few students I had (Don’t judge!). I have seen ALL of them and absolutely love the series…. but here’s the thing I observed: the vehicles never changed their “substance”; they only changed their shapes. Optimus Prime was the same autobot— whether he was driving as the tractor trailer or standing on two feet. Becoming a disciple is much the same principle at work.
I’m not there yet. I’m not getting the viewership that I want (in fact, I’m not getting any views at all). I’m not on the platforms where I believe I will be. I’m not in the space where I believe my voice is heard and valued as it should. I am not getting the results I want to see. Yet, here I am, writing anyway. Another week in the books… and who knows? Maybe that’s the point. Maybe, the purpose is to keep showing up anyway… No views? Keep writing. No comments? Keep writing. No interviews? Keep writing. No podcasts? Keep writing… because maybe in the doing, I am becoming shaped… I’m becoming that person that doesn’t walk away when the results don’t come quickly. Maybe in committing to showing up I’m proving that I can change the narrative in my life. Yeah, I may have bought those gym clothes and quit after three weeks– but I am a different person now….and I can prove it, because I’m showing up. Greatness has been there all the time… I’m being transformed.
Soli Deo Gloria,
jsb